“I’d like to retire in a no (or low) state-income-tax state near water and a state or national park. I want red politics but with (hopefully) legal pot (medical or recreational), and weather that isn’t too cold. I’d compromise on the pot for Texas, if necessary.”
If you just took out the part about the cold, Alaska would be perfect for you. Easily the most libertarian state with legal pot, no income tax, and some of the most stunning landscapes in the world.