Every time I smoke I get so self-conscious and over think what I’m doing with my life. It makes my legs tremble, I drops things and I double take all the time. If I’m just sitting there doing nothing, eye contact is extremely uncomfortable, I don’t know what to do with my hands and I’m constantly moving my body posture. It seems like weed might have a negative affect on me now, but I am technically forcing myself to smoke in social settings because I hate being left out. I hate being judged for being the only person to not smoke, and to be the only one who doesn’t smoke two full joints to the face. I love marijuana so much, I have smoked since I was 13. It helped me so much, and I hate to say that I feel like I don’t want to smoke anymore. It makes me really depressed.
People say it helps treat low self esteem but it does the opposite to me actually. I have rather balance self esteem usually when I am sober and then right when I smoke I turn into a potato that can’t function. It’s hard to speak so I usually respond with one word answers or sentences that a two year old could say. I just want to smoke weed and feel like everyone else does, I just want to be happy